Panacea
by betweenwaters
Summary: A disease is slowly cutting Mikasa's life short. Military training taught defense and offense against titans— what of herself? A take on Mikasa and her road to dis(re)covery on herself and the people she slowly, maybe calls her family.


It was such a nice day to be out.

The birds were chirping, the clouds were just wisps, thin enough to let some sunlight filter through, but oddly thick enough for it to cover the castle grounds softly.

A lot of soldiers shared this sentiment. Most of them were eating or resting on a cloth over the grass where it moved in time with the breeze. It appeared to be a normal day. It was as if there were no titans to fight, no deaths to mourn and no wars to wage. It was like they were free to live life and all the benefits that it entailed.

The Survey Corps, mostly the younger populace, felt as if today, they were reminded of their true ages. They were not hardened soldiers, forged from the harsh reality of battles of protection and the inevitability of sacrifice. As if today, there were no monsters to be spoken of except those under their beds.

No, today there were mere mortals and it felt good to be able to take a break from the mantle of being superhuman.

* * *

The view outside Hanji's window looked straight out of a childhood fantasy. It was bright, clear, peaceful, happy and free. It was what the Legion had been fighting and longing for all these years, Mikasa mused to herself.

But inside Hanji's lab/clinic was a different story. Hanji looked at one of the Legion's best soldiers in years and hesitated momentarily to open her mouth. She raised her head and eyes met the ceiling. _Gods, this is hard._ Hanji breathed in. Breathed out. Her tongue felt frozen and she could not bring herself to answer the woman's question.

She had so much potential and talent, it was hard to believe all this. She was still young even though her skills said otherwise. Hanji lowered her head, the strain becoming slightly uncomfortable. She met the gaze in front of her and wondered if the message she was portraying through her eyes was clear before she let out the answer.

"Y-you only have less than six months before the disease takes control. "

* * *

Mikasa in fact, read the message or got what Hanji wanted to convey through her eyes. It told her almost everything she wanted to know even before Hanji opened her mouth. Weirdly enough, she did not feel surprise, sadness, fear or anger at her situation.

She only felt curious as to what held the scissors that will cut her lifeline, 'The Woman Worth a Hundred Soldiers' as she was so passionately dubbed, short.

"It's a hereditary disease. A slow-degenerative type from the looks of it. From what my books could gather, it 'skips' from generation to generation. Your grandmother must have had it and that's why…" Hanji's voice slowly faded out. There was no need to finish the sentence.

Mikasa stood and gave her thanks. She made the salute and was about to turn for the door, but stopped upon hearing her name.

"Mikasa, if there was anything I could have done to stop it, I would. The disease is very much out of my range of knowledge and I—"

Mikasa turned and had to slowly cut Hanji's misplaced guilt short. "Hanji, none of this is your fault. I know you would have done everything but circumstances did not deem it so. Will I still be able to go on expeditions?"

"Have you gone deaf?" Hanji pursed her lips. "Expeditions take more or less a month. It is dangerous for you to go to on an expedition. I extremely advise you not to." Hanji paused before continuing.

"Except nothing has stopped you before. I'll allow you to join the coming expedition, but no more than that. Will you tell the others?"

"I would appreciate it if this matter would be kept confidential between the two of us."

"Hmm. Very well. But if something happens—"

"I'll tell them then."

The sunlight that was creeping through the window fell on Hanji in a way that made her look like an immaculate and angelic being.

But no angel can save Mikasa today.

Not now, not ever.

* * *

A/N: That concludes Chapter 1! I have no definite timeframe for updates but I will strive to complete this story, no matter how long it takes. Haha! Thank you for reading!


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